How am I handling relationship problems in the church? (Matt. 7:1-5)
     1. Jesus prayed for our unity and wants us to get along (John 17:1-26; Rom.12)
     2. we are called to unity in the church (1Cor.1:10-13; Phil.1:27-2:18; Eph.4:1-6)
     3. God gives each of us different abilities & strengths for building up the church
          (Rom.12:1-21; 1Cor.12:12-27; Eph.4:7-32; Gal.6:1-10; Heb.10:24-25)
     
I. Does the problem involve the basic needs of people?
     A. We are safe & secure in Christ – Rom.8:1-2,31-39; Gal. 3:26-29; Col. 1
     B. We are valuable, important, & significant to Christ – Rom.5:6-11,6:11,6:23,8:28
     C. We are able & resourceful with Christ – Rom.6:1-14; Phil.4:13; Isaiah 59; Lam.3:21-25; Eph.1:3,2:8-10; Gal.2:20; 2Tim.3:16-17
     D. We are challenged & motivated by Christ – Jn.12:44-50; Rom.5:1-5; 2Pet.3:14-18; 1Tim.1:13; 2Tim.2:15,4:1-5
     
II. Does the problem involve the base personalities of people?
     A. Personality tools: functional individuals and groups learn & encourage a balanced use of opposite tools
          (generally speaking: accomplishing solutions to problems requires people to be decisive, energetic, and highly passionate about their motivations;
          whereas identifying solutions to problems requires people to be observant, sedentary and reasonably objective about their motivations)
          1. Introvert vs. Extrovert — world in which one functions best, inner or outer
               Lam.3:26; Matt.6:1-6; Rom.12:3-21; Col.1:3-12; 1Thes.5:25-27; Jas.5:13-20; 1Pet.4:8-11
          2. Thinking/Reasons vs. Feeling/Values — basis for making decisions, i.e. influencing outer world
               Rom.10:1-3; 2Cor.2:1-11;Phil.3:1;4:4; Heb.10:30-34;11:1ff; 1Pet.2:1-3
          3. Contemplate/Meditate vs. Experience/Participate — basis for making observations, i.e. learning from outer world
               Rom.1:20-21; 2Cor.4:17-18; Phil.4:8; Heb.10:1-2;12:1-8; Jas 2:14-26; 1Pet.1:10-20; 2Pet.1:5-8
          4. Decide vs. Observe — interaction with outer world (influence vs. learn)
               2Cor.7:10-11; Jas 5:7-11; 2Pet.3:9; 1Jn.4:1; Rev.6:9-11; Josh.24:14-15
          5. Details/Specifics vs Summary/Big Picture — information level to handle
               (compare the brief “big picture” writing of James’, John’s, and Peter’s letters with the lengthier specifics of Paul’s letters and the letter to the Hebrews; compare how the gospel writers record details and summaries in anticipation of the readers’ needs)
          6. Sedentary/Sluggish vs. Active/Lively — energy / speed level
               Jn.11:1-45; Acts 22:16, 17-21; 1Cor.16; 2Cor.6:2; Gal.5:5-7,13-16; Phil.3:20-21; 1Cor.12:12-27
               too low is lazy; too much is wasteful
               – Prov.10:4-5;12:11,27;13:4;15:19;16:26;18:9;19:15,24
               – Prov.20:4;21:5,25;22:13;24:30-34;26:13-16
          7. Lead vs. Follow — influence/position to other people
               Matt.7:7-29; Rom.13:1-10; Phil.3:16-17;4:9; Col.1:13-23; 2Thes.1:6-8; 1Tim.3; 2Tim.4:1-2; Tit.1:5-9;2:15;3:12; Heb.13:7,17; 1Pet.1:22-23
          8. Responsibility vs. Privilege — motivating values; i.e. passions
               Matt.5:43-38; 2Cor.5:14-21; Gal.2:20; Eph.1;6:10-20; Phil.1:19-30;2:1-16; 1Thes.5:5-23; 1Tim.2:1-4; Tit.3:3-11,14; Jas.2:14;4:1-3,4-10,11-17; 2Pet.1:1-4
     B. Upbringing / Background – Prov.22:6; 1Tim.4:6-11; 2Tim.1:3-5; 2Pet.1:3-11
     C. Physical strengths/weaknesses – Eph.5:17-18; 1Tim.5:23; 2Tim.chapters 2&3
     D. Mental strengths/weaknesses – Prov.12:15,16; Rom.14:19-15:6; 2Tim. chapters 2&3
     
III. Does the problem involve a lack of productive communication?
     A. Content                B. Competes
     C. Consideration       D. Clears
     E. Consistency          F. Completes
     G. Conciseness         H. Continues

IV. Does the other person’s behavior that disturbs me qualify as sin?
     A. “Yes, definitely is a sin”
          1. What is the sin specifically and is he/she still doing it?
          2. Is the sin a reaction to my sin or someone else’s sin in the church?
          3. Have I (or others in the church) in some way pressured or encouraged this person to sin?
          4. Am I aware of what the Bible teaches about …
               a. … my responsibilities concerning fellow Christians living in sin?
               b. … the church’s responsibilities concerning fellow Christians living in sin?
          5. Have I approached this person about the specific sinful behavior?
          6. Have I invited and offered to help this person repent?
          7. Does this person trust the church and me to forgive if he/she repents?
     B. “Not yet (or not sure), but I expect it will eventually if left unchecked”
          1. Have I tried to warn this person and tried to encourage him/her to do better?
          2. Is my behavior (or another’s) setting up this person to sin?
               a. if mine, am I willing to change?
               b. if another’s, am I willing to intervene and to reconcile these people as fellow Christians?
          3. Have I plainly told this person of my need for him/her to do the right thing?
          4. If this person follows my example and my reasoning, will he/she do better or worse?
          5. Am I expecting this person to sin simply because I’ve decided I don’t like him/her?
     C. “No, definitely not a sin”
          1. Why am I dissatisfied with this particular behavior of this particular person?
          2. Have I talked to him/her and tried to understand why he/she does this behavior?
          3. Regarding what I need to do to meet my own responsibilities, does this behavior hinder me?
               a. if yes, am I willing to discuss with him/her in terms of my problem and my needs?
               b. if no, am I willing to change my expectations or my feelings enough to accept it?
          4. What am I doing to encourage and to build up this person as a fellow Christian?