[EGW editor's preface:  One of our readers sent in the following question: “Does man have to confess his sin to another man?  Meaning, if you tell a lie, is asking God for forgiveness enough?  Or do you have to confess to the person whom you lied to?”  As with any question concerning what we hope to learn from the Bible, we must always strive to apply good hermeneutics and to let the Bible interpret itself.
     (For more tips on good Bible-reading skills, click the subjects Hermeneutics and Bible study)]

     I like the general thought of our reader’s question for at least two reasons:

     1.  This question rightly challenges popular denominational practice.  Several denominations teach their members to “confess” their sins to some supervising clergy or member in order to have those sins “absolved,” “cleansed,” “purged,” “exonerated,” “expunged,” or (whatever particular word they use to describe how these people distribute forgiveness of the members’ sins).  This degrading practice for “confession” has no Bible-based instruction or concern at heart, but easily becomes a twisted means of controlling the membership… often by using this confidentially-gained information to intimidate or even to threaten members into submitting to the wishes of their denominations’ leaders.
     2.  This question reminds us as individuals to study the Bible for ourselves.  As people faithfully trying to seek out and obey God’s instructions for Christians, we have a right and a responsibility to question & examine everything taught and practiced by our churches in light of God’s word.  Where a church’s specific teaching or practice obeys what the New Testament Scriptures command Christians to do, we should encourage them to continue that.  Where a church’s specific efforts and activities fit within what those same Scriptures allow or even suggest Christians to do (i.e. is “ok” with God), we should accommodate their freedom to do so.  Where a church’s specific teaching or practice or effort or activity disobeys the New Testament’s instructions from God, we should refuse and discourage it by teaching them from the Bible what is correct and authorized by God.

The short answer:
     “Does man have to confess his sin to another man?  Meaning, if you tell a lie, is asking God for forgiveness enough?  Or do you have to confess to the person whom you lied to?”  
     As I mentioned earlier, there is no Bible-based instruction for the denominational practice of confessing sins to a clergy person or other supervising member in order to be excused.  In the New Testament the only person we find God authorizing to manage and dispense God’s forgiveness on His behalf is Jesus Himself.  Instead, He expects us to learn how we are to forgive those who wrong us… in imitation of how Jesus forgives us (Acts 2:38; Acts 5:27-31; Colossians 3:12).
     There certainly are situations where Christians definitely should confess their sins to Him and to other Christians.  God has provided instructions concerning how, whom, and why to confess.  The goal of His instructions is to help restore and reconcile the sinner’s relationships with Himself and with other Christians.  The sins are confessed to those persons (including God) whose knowledge and concerned interest of the situation require their involvement in this process of repentance, restoration, and reconciliation.  Once these sins have been forgiven, there is no Scriptural reason to keep “confessing” them.
     These instructions also imply why, in some situations, attempting to confess sins to some people can be a waste of time and may even cause harm instead of good.
     In short, Bible-based confession…
          •  involves repentance by the sinner
          •  invites forgiveness from those who already know about and/or who are affected by the sin
          •  seeks faithful growth in the Lord.
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The indepth answer:

• Digging into the Scriptures:

     First of all, we need to make sure we are using this word “confess” as the Bible uses it.  Nowadays, to say “I confess something” usually means “I admit to doing something wrong.”  However, the Bible uses “I confess something” with the broader meaning of “I admit or acknowledge or recognize a fact as being true or correct.”  [dgc: in the passages we will be looking at today, I’ve highlighted certain portions to more quickly identify how they relate to the point at hand.]

     In 1 Kings 8:22, Solomon begins a prayer to God at the dedication of the new temple.  “When Your people Israel are defeated before an enemy because they have sinned against You,” Solomon prays in verses 33-34, “and when they turn back to You and confess Your name, and pray and make supplication to You in this temple, then hear in heaven, and forgive the sin of Your people Israel, and bring them back to the land which You gave to their fathers.”  “When the heavens are shut up and there is no rain because they have sinned against You,” he continues in verses 35-36, “when they pray toward this place and confess Your name, and turn from their sin because You afflict them, then hear in heaven, and forgive the sin of Your servants, Your people Israel, that You may teach them the good way in which they should walk;  and send rain on Your land which You have given to Your people as an inheritance.”
     How is Solomon using the word “confess” here?  He’s saying that when the people finally do repent from their sin and turn back to God, they must also confess God’s name… in other words, they must “admit” or “acknowledge” or “recognize” His authority as the one and only true living God.  Obviously, in this case, the people’s confession acknowledging God’s authority as their master includes admitting both the fact of their sins and the fact of their repentance.
     In the book of Job, chapter 40, God issues a challenge to Job demanding an answer as to whether Job can do the things that only God do.  If Job can, “Then I will also confess to you,” the LORD states in verse 14, “that your own right hand can save you.”  In other words, God is willing to acknowledge something about Job as true, but if and only if that something really is true.
     Jesus applies this usage of confession to His true followers and Himself.  “Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven.  But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is heaven.” we read Jesus say in Matthew 10:32-33.  Luke 12:8-9 records another occasion where Jesus speaks this way, “Also I say to you, whoever confesses Me before men, him the Son of Man also will confess before the angels of God.  But he who denies Me before men will be denied before the angels of God.”  Our confession is our admission of certain facts about ourselves and God… in particular, that we obey God, and therefore Jesus, as our Master.  Jesus’ confession is His acknowledgement that we are honestly admitting the truth.
     This confessing… by us to others about our relationship with Jesus and by Jesus Himself in heaven to God and the angels about His relationship with us… involves more than mere words.  The apostle Paul, when on trial before the Roman governor Felix in Acts chapter 24, tells Felix that what he is confessing affects both his worship and his action.  “But this I confess to you, that according to the Way which they call a sect,”  Paul admits in verses 14-16, “so I worship the God of my fathers, believing all things which are written in the Law and the Prophets.  I have hope in God, which they themselves also accept, that there will be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and the unjust.  This being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men.”
     In his second letter to the church in Corinth, Paul demonstrates how this ongoing confession is part of a Christian’s obedience to Christ’s gospel, is reflected in our acts of righteousness, and in turn brings glory to God.  “Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness,” he explains in 2 Corinthians 9:10-15, “while you are enriched in everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God.  For the administration of this service not only supplies the needs of the saints, but also is abounding through many thanksgivings to God, while, through the proof of this ministry, they glorify God for the obedience of your confession to the gospel of Christ, and for your liberal sharing with them and all men, and by their prayer for you, who long for you because of the exceeding grace of God in you.  Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!”  Our confession is a part of our obedience, a part of how God changes our lives, and a part of how we point people to God.
     In Isaiah 45:22-23 we read God saying, “Look to Me, and be saved, all you ends of the earth!  For I am God, and there is no other.  I have sworn by Myself;  the word has gone out of My mouth in righteousness, and shall not return, that to Me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall take an oath.”  However, when we read how Paul quotes verse 23 in Romans 14:11, we discover that this oath is equated to a confession of God’s authority and that authority must guide the Christian’s actions.  Beginning at verse 9, “For to this end Christ died and rose and lived again, that He might be Lord of both the dead and the living.  But why do you judge your brother?  Or why do you show contempt for your brother?  For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.  For it is written:  ‘As I live, says the LORD, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God.’ So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.”  Our confession to God is our oath of submission… our promise of obedience… to His authority and judgment.
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     Our confession to God is our acknowledgement of certain facts about ourselves and God.  Our confession is motivated by our repentance… by our desire to correct our course away from sin back to seeking God’s good guidance and glory again.  Our confession is a part of our obedience and a part of how God changes our lives.  Our confession is our oath of submission to His authority and judgment.
     Our confession to God is also a conditional requirement of our salvation.  “… if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead,”  Paul wrote in Romans 10:9-10 to the church of Christ in Rome, “you will be saved.  For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”
     This condition does include honestly recognizing and admitting our sins to God.  Earlier in this same letter to the church in Rome, Paul states plainly “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).  David wrote in Psalm 32, “Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.  Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.  When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long.  For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;  my vitality was turned into the drought of summer.  I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden.  I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and You forgave the iniquity of my sin.”
     Solomon wrote in Proverbs 28:13, “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”  
     “This is the message which we have heard from Him,”  John wrote to us in 1 John 1:5-10, “that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all.  If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.  But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.    If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.”
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     We cannot be saved without Jesus confessing us to His Father in heaven.  What Jesus confesses about us depends upon our confession of Him and God, which includes confessing our sins and repentance to God.  Our confession of Jesus involves admitting the truth about ourselves, God, and our relationship with God.  God considers our confession to Him as our oath or pledge of allegiance and uses this confession to change our lives for the better.  And our confession must be ongoing until we die.
     “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering,” we are encouraged in Hebrews 10:23-25, “for He who promised is faithful.  And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”  The inspired writer then reminds us of why this is so important, summarizing in verses 35-39 — “Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward.  For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise:

‘For yet a little while, and He who is coming will come and will not tarry.
Now the just shall live by faith;  but if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him.’

But we are not of those who draw back to perdition, but of those who believe to the saving of the soul.”  When Christians lose their confession and die without their confession, they die without their salvation.
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     We’ve seen clearly that we must confess and acknowledge our sins to God.  But do we have any instructions about confession concerning other people?  In other words, when and why should we confess our sins to other people?

     •  One instruction and reason to confess our sins to other Christians is to gain their prayers on our behalf.
     “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another,” James wrote in James 5:16 to all Christians, “that you may be healed.  The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”
     Notice the “one another”?  This particular combination of confessing and praying is a mutual thing… Christians approaching each other as equals with shared concern for each other. Christians fervently praying towards God for each other’s forgiveness and improvement.
     And what is the result of these Christians in unity seeking healing for their sins together… seeking forgiveness together?  God acknowledges them as “righteous” people and grants their prayer… He forgives them.  A very far cry from the denominational practice of reporting sins to a superior who claims the authority to assign and distribute God’s forgiveness.  How unrealistic and dishonest is such man-made practice!  How much simpler and more helpful are God’s instructions in His written word.

     •  A second reason is to gain forgiveness from those people who know we’ve wronged them.
     We read in Ephesians 4:31, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.  And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”  This thought is also expressed in Colossians 3:12-17.  “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;  bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another;  even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.  But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body;  and be thankful.  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.  And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

     •  A third reason is to keep our own worship acceptable to God.  Jesus addressed this very issue of how our sin against a fellow Christian can hinder God’s acceptance of our worship, especially if that person holds it against us before God.
     Read with me in Matthew 5:21-26, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment.  And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council.  But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.  Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way.  First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.  Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison.  Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.”

     •  A fourth reason is that as Christians confess their sins to those Christians they’ve wronged, they enable each other to obey Christ’s instruction to forgive each other and also help each other to worship acceptably to God.  Mark 11:25-26 tells us Jesus said, “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.  But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”  Notice that God holds each Christian responsible to have a willingness to forgive.
     On one occasion (recorded in Luke 17:1-10) Jesus explains to His disciples that it is impossible for people to never commit sins, but woe to the one who causes others to sin.  And then He tells them, “If your brother or sister in God’s family does something wrong, warn them.  If they are sorry for what they did, forgive them.  Even if they do something wrong to you seven times in one day, but they say they are sorry each time, you should forgive them.” (verses 3 & 4, ERV)  Jesus then tells them a parable illustrating that part of the service He requires from them is forgiving those who repent.
     On another occasion (recorded in Matthew 18:21-35) Peter comes to Jesus and asks point-blank, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” (verses 21, NKJV)  Perhaps Peter is hoping that accepting someone's repentance seven times is Jesus’ upper limit on forgivenss.  Or, perhaps he understands Jesus is using “seven” symbolically with its Jewish meaning of completeness or perfection.  Either way, Peter wants to know when enough is enough… when we can be completely done accepting someone's repentance who has wronged us, quit seeking to forgive them, and start wanting to condemn & punish them.  In the next verse, Jesus replies, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”  We are to forgive completely to the degree of complete times ten.  Forgive totally consistantly every time into infinity.  In other words, we are to seek accepting the other person’s repentance and forgiving him or her as often as it takes… just like the Lord seeks accepting our repentance and forgiving us as often as it takes.
     In the next few verses Jesus explains His point with a parable about a servant who owed his master an incredibly huge & unpayable debt of about 150,000 years worth of standard wages.  When the master commanded that he, his family, and all he had be sold to pay towards the debt, the servant humbled himself before his master begging, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will repay all.’  Moved with compassion, the master released him and forgave him the entire huge debt.  Yet this same servant then refused to be lenient with his fellow servant about a very small & very payable debt of only one hundred days’ wages, throwing him into prison.  Other servants told the master about what was happening.  The master confronted the first servant calling him wicked, questioned his lack of compassion in light of the tremendous compassion shown to him, and then delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due the master.  Jesus then says, “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
     Any Christian man or Christian woman who refuses to practice forgiveness runs the risk of God refusing to forgive him or her.  Remember also, as we saw indication earlier, that when Christians confess sins done against others, their confession carries an oath promising to repent from doing those sins.  Certainly this repentant attitude should make it easier for us to forgive other Christians when they ask us to forgive them, for them to forgive us, and for us to encourage each other to forgive.
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     We’ve seen that the Christian’s confession of God includes, but is much more than, telling God how he or she has been wronging God.  We’ve seen that some circumstances and reasons are appropriate for Christians to confess their sins to other people, especially other Christians.  How often is this to be done?  Is it appropriate for Christians to confess their sins to anyone and everyone?
     I see at least three elements common in the instructions concerning confession of sins to one another…
     •  One element is aiming for godly improvement and spiritual growth… to restore a broken relationship, to right a unforgiven wrong with an apology, to request informed help, to encourage repentance and growth, to clarify a harmful misunderstanding, etc.  In other words, when one Christian wrongs another Christian, and then confesses that sin to the one he wronged and requests forgiveness & prayers on his behalf, the good result God desires is for both Christians to draw closer to Him and to each other.
     •  A second element is that those being confessed to about a specific sin either already have a prior knowledge about that sin or else have a concerned interest about that sin’s effects or else both; i.e. someone who knows or cares or does both.  When we confess a sin to God, He already has both a prior knowledge about that sin and a prior concern for us about that sin’s consequences.  He wants to help us stop that sin, fix the damages, and do better in the future.  When we confess a sin to other Christians for prayers, they should already have a prior concern for our spiritual well-being and the damage sin can cause us.  When we confess specific sins to other Christians that we’ve wronged, they are probably already aware of the sins, but our confession lets them know of our desire to repent plus allows them honest opportunity to forgive us.
     •  A third element is that the sins being confessed are as-yet unforgiven sins… forgiven sins of the past are sometimes discussed as factual matters of history, but they are not apologized for again.  There is no need to request confession or forgiveness for a sin that has already been forgiven.  To do so would actually deny God’s willingness and ability to forgive sin, and would also falsely judge fellow Christians’ willingness and efforts to obey God.
     For one example of men of God applying these elements in action, let’s briefly consider the apostle Paul in the New Testament.

     At the end of Acts chapter seven, we read about a Christian named Stephen who is stoned for his faith and we are introduced to the young man Saul (his Jewish name whom we also know by his Roman name, Paul), who helps out with the stoning by watching the garments and valuables of others involved.  At the beginning of chapter eight, we are told that Saul consented to Stephen’s death… it’s important we understand that his attitude and actions make him as guilty of killing this godly man as those who actually threw the rocks.  In verse three, we learn how Saul “made havoc of the church, entering every house, and dragging off men and women, committing them to prison.”  In Acts 9:1 & 2, we see “Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked letters from him to the synagogues of Damascus, so that if he found any who were of the Way, whether men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.”  This man was a murderer of Christians and a cruel persecutor of Christ’s church… that’s what the man did before he became a believer in Christ later in that same chapter.
     When this man, Saul / Paul, later recounts to an angry mob in Jerusalem (in Acts chapter 22) the story of how he had persecuted the church and of how he became a Christian, he mentions the details of his persecuting Christians simply as historical, undeniable facts to illustrate his point… but he makes no effort to “confess” these facts as sins asking forgiveness from the crowd.  Why not?  Did the crowd care or disapprove of these past deeds?  No, instead they cared and disapproved that he was teaching Christianity.  Were the people interested in rightly restoring Paul’s relations with God or themselves?  No, they wanted to beat and kill him, not help him do better.  Were those people even in a position to forgive Paul for those sins against Christians?  No, those sins had already been forgiven by God and by those he had persecuted… Paul needed no one else to forgive them again.  For Paul to have confessed sins and requested forgiveness from these people would have served no purpose.
     Suppose every time Paul preached to a new congregation of the saved or to a new group of unsaved souls, he brought forward these past forgiven sins asking those people for their forgiveness before teaching from God’s word.  Woud this have served God’s purpose for confession of sins?  No.  Instead it would have done great harm by placing a false emphasis on Paul the man and on a life he no longer lived, and thus distracting his audiences from what was really important… God’s message for them.
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• Summary:
     
     “Does man have to confess his sin to another man?  Meaning, if you tell a lie, is asking God for forgiveness enough?  Or do you have to confess to the person whom you lied to?”  
     As I mentioned earlier, there is no Bible-based instruction for the denominational practice of confessing sins to a clergy person or other supervising member in order to be excused.  In the New Testament the only person we find God authorizing to manage and dispense God’s forgiveness on His behalf is Jesus Himself.  Instead, He expects us to learn how we are to forgive those who wrong us… in imitation of how Jesus forgives us (Acts 2:38; Acts 5:27-31; Colossians 3:12).
     There certainly are situations where Christians definitely should confess their sins to God and to other Christians.  Our Lord has provided instructions concerning how, whom, and why to confess.  The goal of His instructions is to help restore and reconcile the sinner’s relationships with Himself and with other Christians.  The sins are confessed to those persons (including God) whose knowledge and concerned interest of the situation require their involvement in this process of repentance, restoration, and reconciliation.  Once these sins have been forgiven, there is no Scriptural reason to keep “confessing” them.
     These instructions also imply why, in some situations, attempting to confess sins to some people can be a waste of time and may even cause harm instead of good.
     In short, Bible-based confession…
          •  involves repentance by the sinner
          •  invites forgiveness from those who already know about and/or who are affected by the sin
          •  seeks faithful growth in the Lord.

     Something else that God’s instructions for confessing sin suggests, but we didn’t explicitly discuss yet is this… the window of opportunity for confessing sins to each other is limited.
     One limit is simply the feasibility to confess and request forgiveness from those we’ve wronged… sometimes it’s less available than we might like or even missing altogether.
          •  Where can drunken drivers go to ask forgiveness from the playful children they’ve killed with their cars?
          •  How would all the many con artists, pickpockets, liars, and other thieves track down their nameless victims to seek forgiveness?
          •  How would a wealthy family who cheated on its taxes seek forgiveness from a genuinely needy family whose assistance was turned down due to lack of funding?
          •  How might those killed through their own sins request any forgiveness from those they left behind?
          •  By what appropriate means could all the new Christians pursue forgiveness from all the people they’ve wronged in their past before becoming Christians?
          •  How does one track down and seek forgiveness from those from another time and place whom he or she had refused to forgive?
     Another limit is available time… sooner or later it runs out.  Everyday we see people separated by changes in their locations, ambitions, and choices and eventually by physical death.  How many opportunities to acknowledge a mistake, tell of heart-felt love, or even show a simple kindness are passed by because of stubborness to forgive or refusal to repent or selfish inconsideration?  Opportunities vainly sought by telling an empty room or a cold tombstone thoughtful words humbly spoken too late?
     What can we do when we can not go to those we’ve wronged?  When we’ve lost our opportunity to request and receive forgiveness from them?  
          •  We can ask God to forgive us.
          •  We can ask fellow Christians for their prayers asking God to forgive us.
          •  We can then demonstrate our confession by working with God and our family in Christ to forsake those sins leaving them behind us.
     Fortunately, we can trust Him at His word to forgive us.  But, as Psalm 28 reminds us, if we wait too long, we can lose that opportunity as well.  How many people have gone to their own graves before realizing they’ve run out of time to repent and to confess?

          Psalm 28

1    To You I will cry, O Lord my Rock: Do not be silent to me,
     Lest, if You are silent to me,
     I become like those who go down to the pit.
2    Hear the voice of my supplications
     When I cry to You,
    When I lift up my hands toward Your holy sanctuary.
3    Do not take me away with the wicked
    And with the workers of iniquity,
    Who speak peace to their neighbors,
    But evil is in their hearts.
4    Give them according to their deeds,
    And according to the wickedness of their endeavors;
    Give them according to the work of their hands;
    Render to them what they deserve.
5    Because they do not regard the works of the Lord,
    Nor the operation of His hands,
    He shall destroy them
    And not build them up.
6    Blessed be the Lord,
    Because He has heard the voice of my supplications!
7    The Lord is my strength and my shield;
    My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;
    Therefore my heart greatly rejoices,
    And with my song I will praise Him.
8    The Lord is their strength,
    And He is the saving refuge of His anointed.
9    Save Your people,
    And bless Your inheritance;
    Shepherd them also,
    And bear them up forever.